An Alice story
by AliceMCullen
Summary: Jasper has gone to Denali leaving a rather gloomy Alice. Jacob is back in La Push, his loath for vampires still intact. What will happen when this two creatures meet? Jacob/Alice Unsual but really good Read and Review. rating can change to M
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay so I read an Alice/Jacob fan fiction and I totally fell in love with this pairing. I know it sounds a bit weird but you need to give it a try. Please review!!! Tell me if I should continue. This is after Jacob comes back, supposedly after Eclipse. I'll add more info in later chapters. In this fic vampires and werewolves hate each other by the way.

I sat motionlessly in my bed, my eyes scanned by bedroom for the thousandth time as if I was unconsciously waiting for something to change. Of course nothing did, everything remained exactly the same, boring, plain, white. It was curious how these thoughts rambled through my head now, I had never been bothered by the immensity and dullness of my room, as a matter or fact, I used to be content with it. I guess something is changing within me, and it scares me. My hands rubbed my arms trying to give me so heat; I heard an ironic chuckle escape my lips once I realized my action, a vampire looking for heat, such a funny sight. I found myself doing these sorts of things often, without thinking about them. Since Jasper went to Denali things have been much harder for me, he was some sort of wall I could lean on every time I felt like I was bout to fall.

Things for my specie are not as easy as we make it seem. I always tried to act cheerful and pulled together, especially in front of Bella, but that is only because I don't want anyone to see what's underneath the mask, not even my family. On one hand, there was the fact that I need to remain a vegetarian and, though I try hard, there are times in which I can easily feel myself running out of self control. It scares me to think how easily I could end with a life, just a few harmless seconds and my life would be dammed as well. On the other, there is my lack of memories of my past life. This made me a freak even compared to the other vampires, when they look into their past they can see a family, people they loved and hated; I see blackness, nothing else. It had been three years since I discovered were I came from, how I was turned into the creature I now am. I still shudder as I remember staring at the dark screen where a vampire explained how I was placed in a mental institution, that's why I had no memory, I had been insane.

I close my eyes and bring my hand to my temples trying myself to force a vision of Jasper. I needed to know he was alright, that was enough for me to go on for one more day. Time passed nothing. I shook my head as I opened my eyes. There had been something going on with me lately and it was reflecting in my lack of power. I used to be able to have visions if I concentrated hard enough, especially visions of the ones of my kind, but now I only saw emptiness, the same emptiness I see when I try to think about my past. I could feel the same emptiness within me, something unexplainable, vampires were not supposed to have this human emotions. Edward says it is because we own no soul but I have a theory of my own. Since the moment we attempted to cheat of death we were both damned and blessed. We had amazing beauty and unimaginable grace but, as a punishment, we could not feel. I knew I loved Jasper but I would never be sure if I did it with the same intensity that humans felt. I've read several love novels and it is impossible for me to relate with any of those. I can't feel my breath being taken away, I can't feel dizzy and unstable, I can't even feel my heart stop beating because it doesn't need to beat at all.

Giving out a groan I fell back to lie on my bed. The feeling of loneliness was taking over me making me feel odd. Vampires were supposed to be lonely creatures by nature, but I was different, nothing made me happier than being than being next to my family. I know it is weird how I call them my family when they have no real relation to me but I cannot call them anything else. I look up to Esme and Carslile the same way I would do to my mother and father and I love Rosalie, Emmet and Edward as if they were my brothers. I guess fact that I have no memory of my real family makes our bond stronger. As I was thinking about this Jasper's face came to my mind, it was not a vision, just a memory of his smile. I felt my eyes stinging but no tears came out, this was another curse, we could not cry, it was as if our tears dried away the same as our soul.

After a while I realized I needed to get out, even though I wasn't breathing I could sense the air in my room getting thicker and the pressure in my chest was getting unbearable. For the first time in my life I had no idea of what was going on, something wasn't right with me but I still couldn't figure out what was it. If being a vampire had gotten the gift of foresight at least it should have allowed me to have visions on my own future which would be of so much help at the moment. I jumped out of bed as soon as I heard someone knock at the door.

"Alice, darling, are you okay?" I heard Esme's sweet voice coming from the other side of the door. I did my best to look as if I had been resting or lost in thought..

"Yes, come in" I answered once I had thrown the covers on top of me

I forced a smile to my face as soon as Esme walked into the door. Her eyes shown genuine concern although it was pretty obvious I was in no harm of a mortal disease since I was already dead. Ha, great moment to use some dark humor on myself. I pushed the covers down as I sat at the edge of the bed patting the side motioning for her to sit down.

"What is it?" I asked breaking the silence and trying to seem as normal as it was possible

"I just wanted to know if everything was alright, you know…" she trailed off doing her best not to mention Jasper's name.

"Yes Esme, I miss Jasper a lot but what are a few months for a vampire right?" I chuckled.

As a matter of fact, a few months sounded like an eternity now that I mentioned it. Only two weeks had passed and I was already feeling all crumbled on the inside, I didn't even wanted to think how I was going to feel in two, three months. How long would he be away? How long would it take him to regain his inner strength? The idea that he could be gone for more than a year made me tremble. Just now I found myself able to understand Bella, the way she acted while Edward left her.

"I bet he will be back soon" Esme's voice pulled me out of my trance, and I was truly grateful for that.

"Yes"

"But listen to me Alice, you need to go out of this room at some point. You seem so distant, we are all worried about you hun"

"I was just planning to go out on a walk for a while, maybe some fresh air will bring the cheerful Alice out again. I don't any of you to worry about me, honest" I said reassuringly and trying my best to give Esme a smile.

"Sure" Esme agreed, but something in her eyes told me she was not so sure about it "Besides, you look a bit hungry" she encouraged as she stood up and walked out the door not without giving me a final look over her shoulder before crossing the door.

Hungry, I hadn't thought about hunger, I have had so many other things to think about I didn't even had time to feel the thirst for blood. I stood up quietly and started walking towards the door hoping not to see Rosalie or the rest. I loved them, I did, but I wasn't in the mood of being asked how I was feeling, again. Every time someone asked me it felt as if they were removing the dirt over a dead body, it only made the feeling of emptiness within me increase at amazing speed. At least for now, I wanted to be by myself.

Much to my liking it seemed like no one was around, Rosalie and Emmet were probably planning their next honeymoon and Edward might be reading upstairs or heading somewhere with Bella. Everyone seemed to have someone, except me. I knew Jasper was still thinking about me and I was thinking about him as well but he was not with me, near me, I could not feel him. I took in a deep breath before my fingers touched the doorknob and twisted it.

"Alice just be careful" I heard a voice in my head, Edward's

"I will" I answered mentally before I crossed the door and closed it behind me.

A rush of cool air greeted me although, of course, I didn't felt cold at all. The simple fact that I was away from the house made me feel better, it was as if being away from the environment in which we commonly saw each other made me feel a bit more at ease. I started walking towards the large forest, my feet moving without receiving any instructions from my brain. Without even noticing it I was already surrounded by different kinds of trees, I felt extremely small as I looked up to see how high they could go. There was not sun today and I preferred it that way. I hated seeing how my skin glittered in the sun, even after all these years it still felt strange as if it wasn't supposed to happen. Rosalie found this gift extremely beautiful but I hate it, it only reminded me how far I was from being human.

I know many humans might wonder why I would like to be one of them when I had perfect beauty and strength that would put any professional boxer to shame. But if they were like me, they wouldn't like it. This is exactly why, even after I promised, I wasn't able to change Bella. Because, deep inside me, I knew there will come a time in which she would wish she could have continued with her normal life even if it meant being away from Edward.

My feet came to a sudden stop making me pay attention of my surroundings. It took me a while to understand why I wasn't walking but I finally came to an answer. I was now standing in our limit of the forest, by our I mean the vampires. I couldn't go any further, not if I didn't want to keep living. Weird how I say living when I am not even alive. Only god knows how many times I had been standing here, actually, every time I walk through the woods I end up here, looking into the opposite part of the line and asking myself why is it so different? Werewolves know about us, they know we would not harm people, not even when we were extremely hungry. A sudden urge took over my body, an urge to place my foot on the other side and see what happened. Would they have the guts to end with my life? Even if they did, I had an advantage, I was much lighter, faster, I would be able to escape before they had a chance to catch me. But what about the rest? I couldn't be selfish enough to put them in danger.

Slowly I rose my left foot and swung it over the line careful not to touch the ground. There must be something really wrong with me, why was I trying to catch their attention? I was acting by impulse and I had never done this before. I was tired of being reasonable, of giving everything a second thought.

"Stop it Alice" I muttered to myself

Finally, I took my foot back and turned around to leave. I couldn't believe I had been about to put he lives of my whole family in danger. This was not the Alice I knew, I was changing far too rapidly and not knowing the reason for this was killing me. I turned around as soon as I heard a growl at the other side of the line. I knew beforehand it was not a wolf; the sound was far too human. My eyes rose to meet a pair of brown ones. Jacob Black.

"Attempting to violate the treaty aren't we leech?" he said, a smirk formed on his face.

A/N: So…should I continue with it? Please review and let me know!!!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So I got to reviews which was great J but I still want this story to have more hits so please if you like it, tell people to read it!!! I am having a bit of trouble seeing how to make this story believable so please give me some feedback.

I felt my blood boil almost instantly at the sight of Jacob standing in front of me, resting his back carelessly against a tree trunk as if he was trying to show me I was I no opponent at all.

"But I didn't do it, so you have no right to do anything Jacob" I answered as politely as I could although it came out in a highly ironic tone.

"Says who? I don't' see anyone around?" I could notice the muscles of his arms visibly shaking. It was obvious he was angry at the fact his name had just rolled out of my tongue.

"Come on, you have more brains than this" I spat rolling my eyes and crossing my arms in front of my chest in a careless attitude "If you make a move you're dead"

The truth was I was terrified. I knew I was strong and I had a large amount of confidence in myself but I knew that if I started a fight with the boy in front of me, I'll most probably be ripped into shreds. I had seen him fight before and his skills were unbelievable besides, my size didn't helped me against him at all

"I wouldn't be too sure of that bloodsucker" He snapped back making my attention return to him. His hands were now in fists and I knew it wouldn't be long before he transformed.

"If you think I will stay and listen to insults, I won't. But at least I tried my best to be reasonable" I said turning my back to him and starting to walk away.

It was then when I felt his iron grip on my arm. He pulled me back, whirling me around to face him in the process. I could feel the heat of his hand against my deathly cold flesh and, for a second, I felt human. My eyes stared at him in question. Why wasn't he attacking me now?

"Don't" He said after a few minutes of silence "I need you to tell Bella something" Jacob added his voice much softer than before the same as his facial expression.

"Right" I answered shortly feeling how his hand left my arm leaving me in the absolute cold again.

"Tell her that I" Jake's voice broke.

I noticed his stance now, his hands were not longer in fists, his arms not longer shaking. His bright eyes held so much sorrow as he mentioned Bella's name. For a moment he was completely vulnerable in my eyes. If I wasn't more civilized I could have easily taken this moment to attack and I was sure I would have won. I began wondering what would Bella think if she was here with me, if she saw the expression on his face.

"Tell her that I still…" he started again. I could easily see the strength he was using to put words together and I have to admit it pained me even though he was the enemy "Just tell her to stay safe okay?"

I took a deep breath and nodded

"I will"

I turned around again not exactly sure of what had just happened. They had always told me it was impossible for a vampire and a werewolf to stand in the same ground without feeling loath for each other and now here we were, talking as if all the differences were forgotten even for a small fraction of a second.

"Alice" I heard his voice call out making me stop on my tracks and turn to look at his imposing figure once again. My eyes wide in surprise, he had just called me by my name "I never thought I'll say this but…thanks"

"Yes" I said before walking away.

I could sense his eyes on my back as I walked away from his eyesight . The odds of Jacob and I ripping each other to shreds had been pretty high and still, it didn't happen. My eyes remained closed for a while as my feet led me back home only stopping due to the necessity to satiate my thirst. A strange feeling traveled across my body as I resumed my walk, longing, I was longing for something but I was too afraid to admit to myself what it was. Suddenly I started to feel my skin grow colder, colder than before. I thought I had already gotten used to the temperature but now, after I had held contact with the warmness of a touch, his touch…

I forced myself to stop thinking about that moment when I felt human, when I was certain I had begun to breathe, when my skin recognized heat after god knows how many years. Repeating myself over and over again that this was nonsense and it was all in my head, I arrived home. I knew I would have to shake this thoughts away before I crossed the door otherwise Edward would be able to know, and I was certain his reaction was going to be far from comprehensible. Finally, I crossed the door only to see Emmet and Rosalie sitting in the living room, they fingers entwined as they talked about something with high enthusiasm. Both of them turned as soon as they heard the door open and gave me a warm smile, no, it wasn't warm, nothing would feel warm for me again after…

"How did the walk went?" Edward asked as he appeared downstairs, his voice exuded pure interest and I assumed it was due to the surprise I showed when I heard his voice.

"Uneventful…I caught a rabbit" I joked with a shrug trying to keep my thoughts on the poor creature I had eaten a few seconds ago. He couldn't know, he wasn't going to find out.

I noticed Edward raise an eyebrow quizzically and I felt the necessity of slapping myself at that very moment. He had just heard I was keeping something from him and now he wasn't going to let it go. I was sure of it. I tried hard to keep all thoughts of my encounter with the werewolf out of my head, I didn't knew if it was because of Edward or because I found myself in pain every time I remembered his expression as he mentioned Bella's name…so vulnerable.

"Have you seen Bella?" I blurted out before Edward had a chance to ask anything about my secret.

"Yes, actually I just left her home a few seconds ago"

"You think Charlie would mind if I go see her?" I asked although I had already decided I would go.

I heard Edward chuckle.

"Why do you even ask? You are going anyways" he said with a smirk on his face.

"You know I can't take you invading my privacy in that shameless way" I half joked placing my hands on my hips and giving him a deathly glare although it was pretty obvious I looked anything but menacing to him.

"I promise I try not to"

Edward raised his hand as if he was about to pledge. I simply stared at him letting him know I knew he wasn't being honest.

"Oh just go Alice" he said with a small laugh before he went upstairs again.

I followed upstairs knowing I should do something for my appearance before I went to visit Bella. It didn't matter the size of the animal, I always looked like a mess after hunting. After taking some new clothes from my closet I went to take a bath. Actually, taking a bath was not soothing at all for us, we couldn't' even feel the hot water on our skin, but it was a necessity. I took as little time as possible, I felt depressed standing there and feeling the water cooling down as soon as it hit my skin. What would have Jacob felt when he touched my arm? Shivers? I shook my head hard from side to side, I couldn't honestly be thinking about this. Even the small of werewolves resulted revolting to me and now here I was, thinking about his touch.

Time flew rapidly and I found myself at Bella's door again trying my best to look calmed. How long would I be able to pull this charade? First I had to hide the fact that Jasper's memory wounded me, since this afternoon, something else was there. A feeling of guilt hit me suddenly, Jasper, he was trying so hard to be better, to succeed and all because of me. Before he had gone away he had told me he was going to try hard to control his emotions, for me, because he didn't wanted me to be worried. I was sure I was in his mind, if he only knew he wasn't in mine.

"Alice! Come in" Charlie's voice shook me out of my thoughts

"Hello Mr. Swann, is Bella here?" I asked pretending my talk with Edward had never happened.

"Yes she is. Take a seat, she'll be down in a minute"

I did as told and sat down in the large brown couch in the living room. My eyes focused on the TV, a baseball game was on. A smile crept over my face as I though how boring this baseball seemed in comparison to the one I played with my brothers on the woods, humans would be ecstatic if they saw us play. It was either that or they would be terrified. I swallowed hard at the though, I hated that humans ran away from us, that they created scary stories about us. I didn't wanted to be a monster but it was too late, I was one already.

"Alice! What are you doing here?" Bella's surprised voice reached my ears.

I smiled. An honest smile for the first time in two weeks.

"Do I need a reason to visit my friends?" I asked standing up and hugging her tightly.

"Alice, can't, breathe" Bella said between gasps making me jump away immediately with an apologetically look on my face.

"Sorry about that"

"Don't worry. Now, honestly, what is it?" Bella asked as we both sat on the couch

"Well, first you need to promise you won't tell this to anyone, specially to Edward cause I don't want to get into trouble okay?" I stated firmly as my eyes examined hers "And believe me, I will know if you decide to do it"

"Sure, I'm a tombstone"

"Right" I started trying hard to relax.

I didn't knew why I was so nervous in the first place, I was simply delivering a message. Thing was, the message brought me back to the moment, the meeting, his touch…

"I saw Jacob today. I found him as I was walking near La Push border"

I could notice the surprise and fear in Bella's eyes. She was simply too expressive.

"Don't worry, as you can see I am okay and Jacob is okay as well. He just told me to tell you to stay safe, but it seemed like he wanted to say something else"

"Oh, I will call him later" Bella said still in shock "But how was he? was he okay? Please tell me everything Alice"

"He seemed fine, I guess he just misses you" I lied with a convincing look in my eyes.

I was surprised when I felt Bella's arms around me.

"Thank you for letting me know this Alice, I promise I won't tell"

A new week ran passed me as a hurricane. I went to school and talked to Bella and the rest but still, things weren't the same and it was starting to show. I can't tell exactly how many I had been asked if there was something wrong with me and I had to lie and say I missed Jasper. Well, I did missed him immensely, but that wasn't the thing that was bothering me. His face was still in my mind, every time I closed my eyes I saw him and I cursed myself for not being able to shove him away. Whenever someone mentioned his name my mind flew to that afternoon in the woods, the husky sound of his voice, the gentle and extremely warn touch of his hand. Whatever was happening to me I knew it was wrong, I was not supposed to feel this way, I was supposed to writhe in anger every time I though about the werewolf. This was all wrong.

"We are having a bonfire tomorrow by the beach, want to come?" Angela asked smiling at me.

It was obvious she wanted me to distract myself for whatever was making me ask strange.

"Oh…I would love to but I don't think I can" I apologized giving out a weak smile.

My eyes looked at Bella silently pleading for help.

"I was going to…help Bella with some homework"

Bella nodded.

"Yes, I really need help with the literature assignment" Bella followed my game.

What I felt when Angela mentioned the beach was beyond description. I was eager to go, to watch the sea, to feel the sand. Of course there was also the fact that I knew he would be there. This was slowly turning into an obsession and I could feel it. It was amazing how this didn't happened before, the first time I saw him at Bella's. His touch had been the trigger for my emotions to overflow and now I simply knew everything was about to spiral down sooner or later.

A/N: If I keep getting reviews I solemnly swear I will update regularly. PLEAAASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I know this chapter is quite short but I consider it as a filler soo..please review so that I can keep updating regularly.

As days passed, the feeling of emptiness within me became stronger. I wanted to turn back time, to relive that day in the forest and find a way to keep his hand in my arm a while longer. If that had happened, maybe by now I would have an idea of what I was feeling. A groan escaped my lips as I lounged on the large couch in the living room. I placed my arm on top of my eyes trying to block the day light that crept through a small crack in the closed shatters. I would give the world to have a vision, only one vision that would keep my mind away from him. Worst past was, I couldn't even bring his face to my mind whenever I felt like it. Whenever I felt Edward was near I had to force my mind into something. Up to now I had recited the book of genesis in Latin more than times than I can keep count of.

"Hard isn't it?" I felt Rosalie's voice coming from besides me.

I opened my eyes only to see her sitting on the couch's arm. Her eyes looking at me with a mixture of pity and sympathy, and I hated it.

"What do you mean?" I asked right away, a part of me scared she knew more than I gave her credit for.

"Jasper" Rosalie said softly as her hand began combing through my short hair.

I gave out a sight. She knew nothing.

"Yes it's...it's been hard. I haven't had a vision of him in about a month now. I am worried"

"I am sure he is fine Alice, Tanya would have called otherwise"

"You are right, I think I just need some fresh air" I muttered as I stood up

"I bet" Rosalie smiled as she got up as well "Just listen Alice, I know I am not the easiest person to talk to but, I'm here, I'm your sister and...Feel free to talk to me okay?"

I simply nodded before I turned away and walked out the door. I can't explain how guilty I could felt for hating her sympathy a few minutes ago. Rosalie had always been the closed type, never talked much unless it was to give some deeply sarcastic comment but now, she had acted like a true sister. Against all odds, I could feel concern in her voice, she was truly worried and it instantly made me think she might know something I wasn't aware off.

Another jolt of guilt ran down my spine when I found myself in the same spot I had been visiting throughout the week, the border. A part of me simply enjoyed the way it seemed as if my heart was going to suddenly start beating every time I stood there, in the border. The same mixture of danger and expectancy washed over me. I was waiting for him and wasn't it obvious? The real question was why? Not why I was here but why, after two weeks, I was still imagining that he might, somehow, show up again. He knew I was here, they knew I was here, but no one seemed to bother anymore. I assumed I was considered a threat any loner and I wasn't sure if I was happy about that.

After a few minutes I found myself sitting on the grass, my eyes closed and my face turned up to the sky. I was glad the treetops were acting as shade avoiding my skin to glitter. It was a large thud sound coming from in front of me what made me open my eyes and turn my head down.

There he was.

The same stance he had held last time we saw each other. His arms crossed in front of his chest, his brown eyes staring right through me. I could instantly notice there was something missing, the loath, it wasn't there anymore and, if it was, he was doing a pretty good job hiding it. I was the first to speak.

"I gave Bella your message. She said she was going to call you"

"She did" Jacob answered with a shrug "I didn't answer though"

I had to force my jaw closed.

"What? I thought you two were done fighting. You dogs are so territorial" I scoffed getting up.

"She is going to marry Edward and there is nothing you can do about it so, if you ask me, this fight is stupid"

I kept asking me why was I acting the way I was but there was only one answer and it couldn't be the right one. I wasn't jealous, no.

"I don't need your opinion Alice" He snapped

I wanted to stay longer, as a matter of fact I wanted to stay there forever but every second I spent next to him only made me sink lower. I don't think anyone would have any idea of how much self-control I needed to remain still. I thought self-control was supposed to come easy for me; I was a vegetarian after all. But the urges I had at the moment were harder to resist than any I had felt before. My craving for blood was nothing compared to this.

"Backing up leech?" Jacob said behind me. I could even feel his smirk.

"Want me to stay a little longer?"

I was surprised to hear that phrase escape my lips. It had been amongst the boldest things I had said. It was a clear sort of teasing and I knew the look into my eyes only made it worst.

It amazes me how simple words can be the trigger of all sort of events. One second my eyes met his and the next I was in his arms again. It was much different to the time when he had asked me to give the message to Bella. I felt heat in my skin, so tempting. My feet remained at my side of the line as well as his remained at his side. It was an odd Romeo and Juliet representation. Everything in my mind shut down at the very second I felt his lips on mine. I had no control over my actions and it seemed to me neither did he. His hands rested at the small of my back only bringing me closer to him but it wasn't close enough for me.

I have had a taste of the forbidden and now, it wasn't enough.

A/N: This happened really quick but that is the way it's supposed to be. I promised there will explanations for Jacob's behavior on the next chapter. The same as more details coming from Alice's POV.


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